POSITIVE SIDE OF HAVING ANXIETY

HELLO DOLLS,
I WANTED TO TALK ABOUT A TOPIC THAT IS VERY SENSITIVE. I DO NOT WANT TO EVER PORTRAY LIKE EVERYTHING IS PERFECT. LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT MY STRUGGLES WITH ANXIETY FOR THE LAST 6 YEARS. IT ALL STARTED AROUND THE TIME I GOT MARRIED. I GOT MARRIED AT THE AGE OF 21. WE PAID FOR 90% OF IT OURSELVES. MY HUSBAND WAS ONLY 22. WE BOTH WORKED 2 JOBS. ANYWAYS, AFTER THE WEDDING IT HIT US WHEN WE HAD ALL THESE BILLS TO DEAL WITH. AGAIN, IM BEING VERY OPEN WITH YOU GUYS. SO RESPECT THAT ABOUT ME. I STARTED GETTING ANXIETY ATTACKS AT MY JOB. I WAS A BANKER BACK THEN. AS I WOULD SPEAK TO MY CUSTOMERS, MY THROAT WOULD FEEL LIKE IT IS CLOSING. I WENT TO GO SEE A DOCTOR AND THEY TRIED TO GIVE ME PILLS. I EVEN WENT AS FAR AS TO PICK UP THE PRESCRIPTION AND I THREW THEM AWAY. EVEN AT 21 , I THOUGHT TO MYSELF, I HAVE ANXIETY FOR A REASON. I JUST HAVE TO FIGURE OUT WHAT IT IS AND DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. WELL, I APPLIED FOR A HIGHER POSITION AS AN ASSISTANT MANAGER AND I GOT IT. SO MY ANXIETY WAS BECAUSE I NEEDED A RAISE & I WAS BORED IN MY CURRENT ROLE. IT DROVE ME TO BE BETTER. AND MY ANXIETY STOPPED AS SOON AS MY HIRING PROCESS STARTED. THEN I GOT PREGNANT. THAT WHOLE PERIOD WAS REALLY DIFFICULT, BUT I CAN SAVE THAT FOR ANOTHER TIME. ANYWAYS, AFTER MY 3 MONTH MATERNITY LEAVE, I CAME BACK TO WORK AND HAD TO DEMOTE MYSELF. I WANTED TO STAY IN THE SAME CITY AS I LIVED SO I CAN SEE MY SON AT LUNCH AND BE CLOSE. MY OLD POSITION WAS AN HOUR AWAY. WITH KIDS, YOU CANT BE GONE FOR 12 HOURS A DAY. ITS JUST NOT RIGHT. DOWNGRADING BACK TO A PERSONAL BANKER AND A PAY CUT WASNT THE MAIN REASON OF MY ANXIETY COMING BACK. WE LIVED WITH MY PARENTS AND SAVED MONEY. THE BRANCH I WAS AT WAS EXTREMELY UNDER STAFFED. I WOULD SEE 50 PEOPLE A DAY ON AVERAGE. I ALWAYS EXCEEDED MY GOALS, BUT AGAIN BECAUSE I HAD CONQUERED IT, IT WAS BORING. MY ANXIETY GOT WORSE AND WORSE. I KNEW I HAD TO DO SOMETHING AGAIN.  SO AFTER MY SON WAS 11 MONTHS OLD, I APPLIED FOR A EVEN HIGHER POSITION WITH ANOTHER BANK. I GOT THE JOB AND EVERYTHING WAS BETTER. MY ANXIETY WENT AWAY. GOALS WERE HIGHER, STRESS WAS MORE, BUT IT WOULD EXCITE ME! ANYWAYS, 4 YEARS LATER, I GOT ANXIETY AGAIN. SINCE THEN I GOT A HUGE PROMOTION AND I WAS DOING REALLY WELL. IN THIS LIFE, THINGS CHANGE & WE CHANGE. I FELT MY ANXIETY AGAIN, BUT WORSE THIS TIME. I ALMOST RAN TWO RED LIGHTS AND THAT WAS IT FOR ME. WHEN I GOT ANXIOUS, I FELT FAINT. IM ONLY 27, SO HEALTH SHOULDN'T BE AN ISSUE. IT TOOK ME SOME MONTHS TO LEAVE MY JOB BECAUSE OF HOW I FELT. I WAS ALWAYS A GO GETTER AND I NEVER LET ANYTHING GET IN MY WAY. I ALSO FEEL LIKE EVERYONE DESERVES A BREAK. I THINK THE ANXIETY WAS TELLING ME THIS TIME TO SLOW DOWN. SO HERE I AM , SLOWING DOWN. I WILL KEEP YOU GUYS UPDATED. FOR ANYONE WHO NEEDS ADVICE ON THEIR ANXIETY YOU CAN EMAIL ME : SADAFSARATV@GMAIL.COM